"Hey, Mrs. O'Shea, what does your son do again?"

"Uh, he tries to attract horny giant squid so that he can videotape them."

This story is too good to be true.

"The freezer bag at home - to my wife's disgust - is actually full of giant squid gonad samples. We're going to grind all of this up, and we're going to have this puree coming out from the camera, squirting into the water.

"Hopefully the male giant squid, absolutely driven into a frenzy, is going to come up and try to mate with the camera.

"This is the dream - we're going to get this sensational footage of the giant squid trying to do obscene things with the camera."

And to think this guy's mother wanted him to be an accountant.