Monday, October 20, 2003

Bumper Sticker Hell

David Bernstein writes over at The Volokh Conspiracy about irritating bumper stickers:
Least favorite: "It'll be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to have a bake sale to buy a bomber."

Close second: "You can't hug a child with nuclear arms."

Hear, hear! It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, won't it be wonderful when the armed forces are pathetic blah blah blah fishcakes. I hate those.

It's the overtly earnest ones that are annoying -- the ones that use alliteration or puns -- "He's not the President-Elect, he's the President-Select."

"Re-Elect Gore in '04" -- Get over it already. I was able to get over the fact that the country was OK with President Clinton.

I don't like "Free Mumia," but at least it's pithy -- I just don't think we should.

"Free Tibet" -- well, yeah, OK, I agree. How about the rest of China, too? And while we're at it, let's free Cuba and all other collectivist dictatorships, OK? Who's with me? Probably not you. Because inevitably next to the "Free Tibet" sticker is a "Stop The War On Iraq" bumper sticker.

Then there are the non-political ones that are just dumb:
"Ask me about my grandchildren." -- Well, I certainly have the time to, because you're going 5 miles an hour.

"Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore" -- If you ever wanted a bumper sticker guaranteed to frighten off any decent woman, that'd be it.

"One Tequila Two Tequila Three Tequila FLOOR" -- This one gives the last one a run for its money and also has the bonus pun factor.

And of course, "This Car Climbed Mount Washington" -- Well, that's nice. And?


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