Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Bullet Wounds KKK Initiation Participant

Yet again, G-d makes His presence known.

A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said.


Monday, November 24, 2003

Do you think it has something to do with the name "Paris"?

"The Paris, Texas, school district apologized Tuesday for a performance by one of its marching bands which played an Adolf Hitler anthem and waved a Nazi flag during a football halftime show."

On Rosh Hashana, yet.

Well, at least they're honest...

According to David Bernstein at "The Volokh Conspiracy", the University of Toronto cancelled a Palestinian Solidarity Conference because it came to the University's attention that, in order to attend the conference, all participants were required to agree to a 'Basis of Unity', which included:
"1. We support the Palestinian right of return. It is non-negotiable.
2. A two state solution is not a viable or acceptable option for the Palestinian people.
3. Israel is a racist apartheid state.
4. Our activism is imbued with an anti-colonial feminist practice.
5. We support the right of the Palestinian people to resist Israeli [sic] and colonialism by any means of their choosing.
6. Actions that we organize at this conference will be developed under the framework of respecting a diversity of tactics."
When the organizers refused to let anyone in that didn't agree with these positions (to exclude others would violate the University's Statement on Freedom of Speech), the University cancelled the "conference." So, while part of me is amazed that such hatred and bigotry can be that openly expressed....on the other hand, at least some people may begin to see that a two-state solution isn't exactly what Israel's "negotiating partner" is really interested in.

I also find it particularly interesting that they used the language of the left to describe their mission. A "diversity of tactics" (not of opinion, just tactics).... different ways and means to blow up children, perhaps? "Anti-colonial feminist practice"... I actually have no freakin' idea what that means, but it might sound appealing to some gullible idiots. And resisting "colonialism" by any means of their choosing...well, we've seen what that resistance is all about. Do left leaders who actually care about human rights and liberal society understand the scope of the disease that is infecting their movement and language? I doubt it...me thinks they are far more interested in beating Bush at all cost.

Reason #1048 not to live in Vietnam...

OK, you know you don't want to eat in Vietnam when the dog meat might not even be dog meat...

Be careful frying that turkey!

Who fries their turkeys anyway?

The Ice Cream Scoop Bandit...

Not to underestimate the terror one feels when threatened with a putty knife, but what about this paragraph:
The new charges against Angela Jackson, 18, of Susquehanna Township, come as she was awaiting trial for allegedly twice robbing a convenience store armed with an ice cream scoop.

"Gimme all the money in the register or I'll make you a large banana split!"

And she got away with it twice?

Illegal Bologna

Prepare for the new national War On Illegal Luncheon Meat...

Friday, November 21, 2003

Response to Stuart

Stuart Kaufman, a man blessed with great humor, keen insight, a great family and the political sensibilities that lie somewhere to the left of, say, Benito Mussolini, threw a bit of cold water on my unabashed accolades for Bush's speech in London the other day. I thought I should respond.

Stuey.... you're right, but...that wasn't my point. Bush's speech was truly remarkable (actually, it was the second on this topic). Disavowing 60 years of appeasement by every President since Roosevelt (including...and in particular, his father) was astonishing and needs to be talked about and understood and celebrated. He is charting an unprecedented course in not only foreign policy but in the purpose of our country. It has gotten, not surprisingly, little attention and that is not right. We need to talk about this again and again and again until the words are more than words.

With respect to Israel, while I disagree with Bush strongly on his opposition to the fence, I still believe that he is the best friend Israel has ever had and, actually, really understands what Israel is up against. True, there are State Dept. officials who are viciously hostile to Israel and who put pressure on Bush, which is troubling. However, my hunch is that Bush's position comes more from a tactical approach ... he feels he needs some concessions from Sharon to demonstrate his ability to broker a settlement. What is ironic and sad about this is that the fence is in actuality a victory for the Palestinians. If a two state solution is really what is desired (and I know that it is not desired by the Palestinian leadership or intelligentsia), then the fence is a de facto creation of that. The concept was created by the Israeli left and only recently embraced by the right. But its implication is clear...there is going to be a Palestinian state. The placement of that fence is only a matter of negotiation; the real concession has already been made. It is tragic that Bush did not embrace that logic and proceed on that basis. But that I disagree with him on this point does not mean that I don't trust him. There is absolutely no one else I would want there right now.

Lileks. Again and again.

Jimmy had one other post that had me in tears. This is his response to Salam Pax, the infamous blogger from Iraq that wow-ed many surfers with waves of information during the war. The Pax-man wrote a letter to Guardian, that bastion of anti-Bush-ism, where he basically said 'thanks, but your doing a shitty job.'
"To tell you the truth, I am glad that someone is doing the cleaning up, and thank you for getting rid of that scary guy with the hideous moustache that we had for president. But I have to say that the advertisements you were dropping from your B52s before the bombs fell promised a much more efficient and speedy service."
To which James responded as follows (he he he):
"Hey, Salam? Fuck you. I know you’re the famous giggly blogger who gave us all a riveting view of the inner circle before the war, and thus know more about the situation than I do. Granted. But there’s a picture on the front page of my local paper today: third Minnesotan killed in Iraq. He died doing what you never had the stones to do: pick up a rifle and face the Ba’athists. You owe him. .... The rug was soaked before we got there, friend. Cut the clever café pose; drop the sneer. That “Rambo” crap is old. Iraq needs grown-ups. Be one.
Read the rest. I wish I could write like him too. But at least we get to read him!

Lileks. Again.

Damn, James is good today.

He starts out nice 'n' family man, talking about his daughter:

Okay, one more toddler moment: we read a book this morning, and I gave it a theatrical reading worthy of Patrick Stewart. Gnat was impressed. “I love you, Daddee,” she said, and of course I said I loved her too.

"No. Call me dottor."

"You’re my best daughter only and ever."

Big hug. She looked at the TV, at the pictures of the wreckage in Turkey.

"I don wan news. I want Blues Clues."

But then he downshifts into rhetoric that makes you wanna yell "Damn Straight!"

You know what? Michael Moore is right. There are many Americans who are ignorant of the world around them. And they’re all TV news producers. Two big bombs in Istanbul, and what’s the big story of the day? Following around a pervy slab of albino Play-Doh as he turns himself into the police.

. . . .

It’s going to take another attack to convince the fence-sitters: I hear this all the time. I don’t think that’s the case. I think the next attack on American soil will jolt whose who’ve moved on, who’ve forgotten the aching, clammy dread we all felt after 9/11. But others will believe that we brought it on ourselves. You already read it around the web - the bombings in Turkey were a response to Britain’s assistance for toppling Saddam; what did we expect? In other words: if we fight back, we get what we deserve. If we do not fight back, and we are attacked again, you can blame it on the crimes for which we have not yet sufficiently atoned. The only proper posture for the West is supine. Curl up and let them kick until they’re spent. Give them Israel and New York and perhaps they'll go away.

This is either going to end on their terms, or ours. Which would you prefer?

Oh, there you go again with the us vs. them, the good vs. evil, the with-us-or-with-the-terrorists. But these aren’t my definitions; these are the definitions of the enemy. (Eyes roll; “enemy.” How dramatic.) They certainly believe it’s a matter of us vs. them; they’ve been acting that way for years before we caught on. They certainly believe it’s a matter of good vs. evil, although they believe they are Good. No - correction. They believe they are righteous. They obviously believe that sides have been drawn, allegiances chosen; why else kill Turks, for heaven’s sake? Yes, the attacks in Turkey were aimed at Jews and Crusaders, but they obviously knew there would be massive numbers of wounded Turks, and they didn’t care. (The ones who are truly callous about the fate of other Muslims are the Muslim extremists. But, well, Muslims don’t kill Muslims, so the Mossad must have bombed the synagogues. QED.) I repeat: their terms or our terms.

I wish I could write like him.

The New Medicare Bill

This bill is abominable. Why should you all be responsible for paying for my pharmaceuticals in 5 years when I reach 65? What the hell have I done to merit that (other than reach that age)? If you say that people "need" it - they also need cars and cell phones. Should you be made to pay for those also? The bill reeks... not because it does too little... but because it does anything at all! It is a bill that will cost the economy millions of dollars and, as a result of the law of unintended consequences, will also result in the production of far fewer new pharmaceuticals to help mankind.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Response to Peter

Peter (and whomever else reads this):
The problem is that the President is begining to put more and more pressure on Israel, at the insistence of the British and our State Dept. Witness his strong language re the fence. It also appears that the US will reduce the amount of aid to Israel because of the fence. I happen to think that Israel should stop taking American aid, for many reasons. But it is certainly negative that the President is linking a cutback in aid, to the fence - a method which Israel considers necessary for its own defense.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

President George Bush -- Radical Interventionalist and Defender of Liberalism

From his speech today in London:
"We must shake off decades of failed policy in the Middle East. Your nation and mine, in the past, have been willing to make a bargain, to tolerate oppression for the sake of stability. Longstanding ties often led us to overlook the faults of local elites. Yet this bargain did not bring stability or make us safe. It merely bought time, while problems festered and ideologies of violence took hold.

As recent history has shown, we cannot turn a blind eye to oppression just because the oppression is not in our own backyard. No longer should we think tyranny is benign because it is temporarily convenient. Tyranny is never benign to its victims, and our great democracies should oppose tyranny wherever it is found."

He also said this:
"Achieving peace in the Holy Land is not just a matter of the shape of a border. As we work on the details of peace, we must look to the heart of the matter, which is the need for a viable Palestinian democracy. Peace will not be achieved by Palestinian rulers who intimidate opposition, who tolerate and profit from corruption and maintain their ties to terrorist groups. These are the methods of the old elites, who time and again had put their own self-interest above the interest of the people they claim to serve."
I wonder who he was refering to?

Read the whole thing. Those who have done nothing other than attack this president and yet claim to uphold liberal values couldn't have said it better ... and sadly, they never would have.

Terrorists with Tofu breath

Michelle Malkin takes on some people I consider truly dangerous: Animal rights and environmental rights extremists.

As she notes:
While aspiring terrorists with tofu breath build nail bombs and play with matches, the best and brightest scientists around the world are forging miraculous breakthroughs that will benefit all mankind -- and especially the poor in underdeveloped nations that the leftists and Luddites claim to care about so much.

The main thing that unites animal rights activists and environmental activists is not love of animals or trees: It's hate for humans.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Victor Davis Hanson

War is a failure of humanity. Its existence -- its need -- is civilization's bane. While that does not mean we should not fight them when necessary, it does mean that we cannot forget its many tragic consequences. Victor Davis Hanson, one of the great essayists of our times, has just written a book, Ripples of Battle: How Wars of the Past Still Determine How We Fight, How We Live, and How We Think and the introduction has been excerpted in four parts (1, 2, 3 and 4). I haven't read the whole thing, but what I have has brought me to tears. When I hear statistics of war with thousands or even millions dead, it grieves me greatly but largely in an abstract way. But when I read about one person, in this case Hanson's uncle -- his life, his death, the people who mourned him and remember him still -- I get overwhelmed. And then, when I apply that story to the thousand, millions that died, well ....

I think I will buy the book.


On European sensibilities:
"Sometimes I swear that if a European hits his thumb with a hammer when no one’s around, he shouts GODDAMN JEWS!"
On Ted "Wingnut" Rall:
"The French have a saying: his head, it is filled with urine. Or they should have such a saying; I’m sure it would sound elegant and dismissive. These people aren’t the loyal opposition anymore; they’re just the opposition. They may say they love America, but they love some idealized nonexistent America that can never exist as long as there’s individuality and free will. They’re like people who say they love women and beat their wife because she doesn’t look like the Playboy centerfold. I’m sick of the lot of them!"
On Soros:
"I was tempted to write about George Soros comparing Bush and America to the rise of the Nazis, but I’ve just had it with these people. I’m more interested in those who ride the coattails of their rhetoric. I want someone to ask Dean this question in the Presidential debate: “Governor Dean, one of your wealthiest backers has compared America in 2000s with German in the 1930s. Do you agree with this analogy?” The only acceptable answer to my ears is “No, I don’t.” Period."
And on writing in defense of a war even if you are not a soldier:
"I have to fight before I can express my opinion? That’s like saying I have to live in Antartica to draw penguins."
Whenever I read him, I always chastize myself for not reading him regularly. Today is a good day to start....

Thursday, November 13, 2003

After all, you named her after the French capital...

In The New York Post, Linda Stasi takes Paris Hilton's parents to task in connection with the video that has now caused email servers to creak under the strain of all the forwarding:

She is, (and it is), without a doubt, a parent's worst nightmare. Well, unless of course you are Paris' parents, Kathy and Rick Hilton - then maybe you're living the dream.

I mean, let's be honest, the naked, probably drunk, 19-year-old sexed-up girl (it was shot three years ago) in this video is everything you raised her to be - and is playing exactly the role you raised her to play.

What are you so suddenly shocked and angry about? Did you find out she was having unprotected sex in a Marriott and not a Hilton hotel?

Come on!

Where the hell have you been since your two daughters were running wild at 14? How did you allow them out to go clubbing and looking all sexed-up at an age when they should have been home with you having dinner and doing homework?

Hard to argue with her, really.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

A Day at Baltimore Airport

This story was verified as accurate by snopes.com (http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/onleave.asp). It's worth reading.

The writer and his wife live in LA and both work for Uncle Sam.

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope that you will spare me a few minutes of your time to tell you about something that I saw on Monday, October 27.

I had been attending a conference in Annapolis and was coming home on Sunday. As you may recall, Los Angeles International Airport was closed on Sunday, October 26, because of the fires that affected air traffic control. Accordingly, my flight, and many others, were canceled and I wound up spending a night in Baltimore.

My story begins the next day. When I went to check in at the United counter Monday morning I saw a lot of soldiers home from Iraq. Most
were very young and all had on their desert camouflage uniforms. This was as change from earlier, when they had to buy civilian clothes in Kuwait to fly home. It was a visible reminder that we are in a war. It probably was pretty close to what train terminals were like in World War II.

Many people were stopping the troops to talk to them, asking them questions in the Starbucks line or just saying "Welcome Home." In addition to all the flights that had been canceled on Sunday, the weather was terrible in Baltimore and the flights were backed up. So, there were a lot of unhappy people in the terminal trying to get home, but nobody that I saw gave the soldiers a bad time.

By the afternoon, one plane to Denver had been delayed several hours. United personnel kept asking for volunteers to give up their seats and take another flight. They weren't getting many takers. Finally, a United spokeswoman got on the PA and said this, "Folks. As you can see, there are a lot of soldiers in the waiting area. They only have 14 days of leave and we're trying to get them where they need to go without spending any more time in an airport then they have to. We sold them all tickets, knowing we would oversell the flight. If we can, we want to get them all on this flight. We want all the soldiers to know that we respect what you're doing, we are here for you and we love you."

At that, the entire terminal of cranky, tired, travel-weary people, a cross-section of America, broke into sustained and heartfelt applause. The soldiers looked surprised and very modest. Most of them just looked at their boots. Many of us were wiping away tears.

And, yes, people lined up to take the later flight and all the soldiers went to Denver on that flight.

That little moment made me proud to be an American, and also told me why we will win this war.

If you want to send my little story on to your friends and family, feel free. This is not some urban legend. I was there, I was part of it, I saw it happen.

Will Ross
Administrative Judge
United States Department of Defense

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Pacifist Europeans have short memories

Mark Steyn writes an interesting piece about the odd pacifism of Europe.

I liked this paragraph:

You can't help noticing that it's the low-tech weapons that are really horrible. In Liberia, Sierra Leone, Rwanda and the Congo, millions get hacked to death by machetes. Even on the very borders of EUtopia, hundreds of thousands died in the Balkans in mostly non-state-of-the-art ways until the Americans intervened.

According to the latest estimates, the mass graves in Iraq contain the remains of at least 300,000 people, but we're still arguing about whether the war was "justified". The pacifism - or, more accurately, passivism - of Europe does not seem especially moral.


The EU has done a grand job of trumpeting its weakness as strength, but the fact remains that there's something hollow at the heart of European identity. You can't be a great power without great power: Slobodan Milosevic called the EU's bluff on that a decade ago.

When you say as much to Euro-grandees, they say, ah, but you wouldn't understand, here on the Continent we have seen the horrors of war close up, the slaughter of the Somme casts long shadows. I'll say. In the New Statesman last week, Philip Kerr managed to yoke All Quiet On The Western Front with Joan Baez and John Lennon, and unintentionally underlined just how obsolescent the Sixties folk-protest canon is. Where Have All The Flowers Gone? would have made a great song for the First World War, but not for Afghanistan or Iraq or anything we're likely to fight in the future.

In our time, mass slaughter occurs only in places where the West refuses to act - in the Sudan or North Korea - or acts only under the contemptible and corrupting rules of UN "peacekeeping", as at Srebrenica. In Afghanistan and Iraq and elsewhere, technological advantage changes the moral calculus: it makes war the least worst option, the moral choice. At the 11th hour of the 11th day, we should remember those who died in the Great War, but recognise that it could never be "the war to end all wars" and never should.

Israeli Rap takes on politics

An interesting news story about Israeli Rap music's political content.

Wearing baggy sweat pants, a baseball cap pushed off-center and a glittering, rhinestone-studded Star of David necklace, Kobi Shimoni (known by the stage name Subliminal) swaggered on stage as if he were the Israeli incarnation of Eminem (news - web sites). With a booming rhythm track and an Israeli flag draped from the DJ stand, the show turned out to be as much a patriotic pep rally as a rapper's delight.

"Who has an Israeli army dog tag, put your hands in the air!" Subliminal called out in a mix of Hebrew and English. Hundreds of hands shot up. "Who is proud to be a Zionist in the state of Israel, put your hands in the air! Hell yeah!"

Say Thank You

I have had a small correspondence with a Lt. Colonel in the army, who is stationed in Afghanistan. I sent the following e-mail to him. It would be nice if we all did something similar today:

I dont know many people who are on active duty in the military so, on this Veteran's Day, I decided to send this to you as a representative of all those whom I don't know.
I want to extend to you a heart-felt thank you for your service. Although these sentiments are (unfortunately) not often expressed, you are in our prayers.
Stuart Kaufman
Management Recruiters of Great Neck
stuartk at mrgreatneck.com

Friday, November 07, 2003

On a happier note...

Required reading: two speeches, one by Bush and one by Josh Chafetz. The President's speech was remarkable and hopefully seminal (we shall see if it filters out there). If you haven't read it, please do so. One line that grabbed me yesterday and which I was glad to see others pick up on it:
Sixty years of Western nations excusing and accommodating the lack of freedom in the Middle East did nothing to make us safe because in the long run stability cannot be purchased at the expense of liberty.
The end of Carterism, the end of what we never liked about Kissingerism. Those who say that the strategy used by Bush is dangerous have to first answer the threat and perils posed by continued appeasement. And they can't.

The other speech by Chafetz at Oxford had this zinger:
Three of the most widely read American magazines have recently run stories on how the occupation is going, and the verdict is unanimous. "Americans are Losing the Victory" screams one. "How We Botched the Occupation" is on the cover of another. "Blueprint for a Mess" is the verdict of the third.

Actually, I've taken some liberties with two of those headlines, so let me start over. "Blueprint for a Mess" is indeed the cover article in this week's New York Times Magazine. But "Americans Are Losing the Victory" is from the January 7, 1945 issue of Life magazine, and the full headline is "Americans are Losing the Victory in Europe." The Saturday Evening Post on January 26, 1946 ran "How We Botched the German Occupation." The Life article solemnly declared that, "Never has American prestige in Europe been lower" and that "we've lost the peace." It cites the prevalence of looting, the disorganization of the reconstruction authorities, the prevalence of disease, the continuing disorder. "We have swept away Hitlerism, but a great many Europeans feel that the cure has been worse than the disease," it intoned.
Chavetz goes on to say correctly that
"I mention this, not to make the (obviously fallacious) claim that it "proves" that Iraq will turn out as well as Europe did. But I mention it as a caution against impatience and as a reminder that setbacks and rough patches are to be expected."
Some perspective is actually important. Finally, two articles of note, one by Our Man Hitchens and the other by the incomparable Victor Davis Hanson. Their perspectives are invaluable.

Jews, Jews and more Jews

If perhaps you were feeling pretty good today and thought things were getting better, here are three little items I found today that will bring you right down in the dumps. So read if you feel up to it.

First, check out this EU poll that showed that 59% of those polled in Europe found Israel to be the biggest threat to world peace, far ahead of anyone else (of course, US was in second).

Next, my man Norm found this lovely editorial in the New Straits Times. Here is a sample:
Not too long ago, disliking Jews was a legitimate political and cultural attitude in the West. Nowadays, antiSemitism is politically incorrect, and people like Hier and the Simon Wiesenthal Centre are adept at exploiting this taboo to support Israel's racist and genocidal policy towards the Palestinians. They try to stifle discussion and criticism of Israel, and use threats when they can. But Dr Mahathir's example shows not everyone is afraid of being labelled anti-Semitic when they speak the truth, and not every voice can be silenced. The Palestinians continue their struggle and everywhere, as the EU poll shows, people are speaking up for justice and peace for the Palestinians, and against the Zionist threat to world peace and Israel's continuing illegal occupation of Palestinian lands.
Ahh, the days when anti-semitism was not politcally taboo and free speech reigned. Notice the parallel on world peace...a trend I think we will continue to see.

Finally, Norm noted this entry by french blooger Francois Brutsch:
I haven't really got over a discussion I had last year with a very dear friend, of the generation before mine (and who had lived, therefore, through the war), a grande bourgeoise of the cosmopolitan left. After September 11 2001 she was indignant at the satisfied admiration felt by another friend, also of the left. Viscerally pro-Palestinian this woman had exclaimed: 'Well, you know, there are too many Jews about!'
How are you feeling now? By the way, if you haven't seen all this other stuff from Andrew Sullivan, then your day isn't complete. Check out all the entries on that day....

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Zell Miller

I was watching Tony Snow's Sunday program a couple of weeks ago, and the panel was discussing Zell Miler's new book, and his "motivations" for writing it.
It was Cece Connolly who expressed a view that I realized was a perfect illustration of the cynical and vile way that the Washington establishment views the world. Ms. Connolly posited that perhaps Senator Miller wrote the book because he is seeking appointment to a high level position in a second Bush administration.
Her musings made it clear that the Washington establishment considers it impossible that an elected official can actually have an agenda outside of his/her own personal self aggrandizement. She, in fact, projected her own worldview onto Senator Miller. She (and they, with few exceptions) is incapable of recognizing decency when it is staring them straight in the face.
This, in a nutshell, is the reason why the Congress and the big media are leading us down the road to perdition

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Ah, the left...

The always-interesting Evan Coyne provides some video of his favorite protester at the Rutgers pro-Palestinian rally.

As he notes:
Mary Lou is an attractive, articulate spokeswoman for liberal causes. She is also an example of why so many on the left refer to President Bush's intellect in derogatory terms: their standards are simply too high. It is unfair and unreasonable to expect that every candidate for elective office demonstrate the level of mental acumen shown in this speech. Watch, and you will see why Mary Lou is my new favorite protester.

Note: The above constitutes considerable sarcasm on Evan's part.

Once Again, the Singer Proves That She Should "Shut Up and Sing"

On her web site ( http://barbrastreisand.com/statements.html ), America's reigning self-proclaimed political pundit/diva holds forth on the First Amendment and the CBS decision to exile the Reagan defamation to Showtime.
She Says:
"Due to their experience with the restrictive English government, the framers of our constitution specifically included a ban on prior restraint in the First Amendment, which is an attempt to stop information from getting out there before the public has a chance to see it at all - exactly what is going on in this case."

She is such a schmuck! She still hasn't grasped that the First Amendment applies to government censorship, and that what happened in the Reagan smearfilm/CBS situation, was nothing more than the marketplace operating at its best.
What an ignorant cow!


At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president
Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of
a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and
concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had
jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past
the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through
a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent
was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth
floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not
have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. Ordinarily,
Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately
succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended" is still
defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death
nine stories below at street level, but his suicide attempt probably would
not have been successful because of the safety net. This caused the medical
examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was
occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and
he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he
pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went
through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one
is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder
charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they
thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing
habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to
murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident,
that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's
son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It
transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the
son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly,
loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of
Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son
was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over both the
loss of his financial support and the failure of his attempt to engineer his
mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March
23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth-story
window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner
closed the case as a suicide.

Stuart Kaufman
Management Recruiters of Great Neck

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Worst Album Covers Ever

Well, they're right, these are the Worst Album Covers Ever.

I especially like the pedophile's favorite album third from the bottom, Julie's Sixteenth Birthday.

My Son

Last night my wife (Susan) and I attended a ceremony at which my son (David Kaufman, for those ignorant few who don't alrady know) was presented an award by Judge Judith Kaye (the top honcho judge in NY State) on behalf of the Legal Aid Society.
I just wanted to take advantage of this forum to tell whomever may be interested that no father was ever prouder of his son than I am of mine. He goes from strength to strength. He is an honorable, decent person who uses his intelligence and wit to improve this world. If I have done nothing more in my life than produce David A. Kaufman, then my life has been an unqualified success!

Monday, November 03, 2003

Girls pummel man who exposed himself

Hee. I really don't have time. But this was too good.

OpinionJournal - Extra

I'm incredibly busy today, but I just wanted to put this out there. OpinionJournal - Extra.

Great column, lists lots of bloggers (though it shockingly neglects to include KaufmaNet) and is fairly interesting.

I'll reblog about this later, maybe much later.