Bali bomber thanks anti-war protesters

Attention anti-war protesters: Turns out you did aid terrorists. Sawad, the guy who mixed the Bali bomb thanked the anti-war protesters.

"I want to thank the Australian people who supported our cause when they demonstrated against the policies of George Bush. Say thank you to all of them," Sawad said.

Isn't that what I was saying back then, and being accused of hyperbole?

Today's nominee for most baffling website...

Via Dave Barry's blog:
ElDorado & The Re-Penting of America:Pictorial Map to America's Geomantic Global Role

Anyone understand anything on this website?

Anyone?

Didn't think so.

Press Release...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Molly Kaufman, the Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier star of AT&T commercials who normally lives in the fashionable West Village of NYC with her people, David & Stacey, took a brief break from relaxing in Martha's Vineyard this past week in order to participate in the dog show held at the Martha's Vineyard Agricultural Society Fair, where she placed second.

Since it was her first dog show (and likely only, since she's spayed) she was ok with not taking first, though disappointed, and celebrated by terrifying a few nearby pigs.

She then requested a trip to the beach where she romped in the surf, pausing only to point out particularly repugnant odors hiding in the seaweed to her happy, yet mildly nauseated people.

"And then we'll play Pin The Hand On The Leper!"

James Lileks' column in the Tribune from Sunday (which is, of course, extremely funny) alerted me to what may conceivably win the "sick humor kids party game" award. On The Totanic, one of those inflatable bouncy things that kids can jump on, your child party-goers may, according to the website,

Experience the thrill of sliding down the deck of the Totanic from 20 feet
above the ground, with an icy cold bounce waiting for you at the bottom!

Excuse me?

It reminded me a little bit of the "sick humor kids handheld game" award winner when I was a kid, a Nintendo "Game and Watch" called (depending on who marketed it) either Fireman, Fireman or just Fire.

In the game, you controlled these two paramedic guys with a stretcher who had responded to a fire. Babies would come out of the burning building and you had to bounce the babies over to the waiting ambulance and safety. If you dropped one, there would be a little LCD "splat" (complete with tiny blood drops) and then a little baby angel would appear in the top right corner. Three baby angels, and the game was over.

My mother called it Dead Babies and depending on her mood, sometimes played to lose.

UPDATE: It turns out that some enterprising person made a Windows simulation of Dead Babies which can be found on this page.

But Gray Davis didn't play Conan The Barbarian, did he?

The FCC's Equal Time doctrine is causing some stations some consternation, apparently. The Washington Post reports that:

Arnold Schwarzenegger's foray into California's gubernatorial recall election poses a dilemma for broadcasters who might be tempted to show his films during the race: Doing so would allow rival candidates to demand equal time.

For that reason, broadcasters in California will likely not air Schwarzenegger movies such as "Total Recall" and the "Terminator" or a repeat of a "Diff'rent Strokes" episode with Gary Coleman for the next few months.

Quote of the Decade...

Received in an email and after absolutely no fact-checking, I present you with the quote of the decade:

Nominated for Quote of the Year is the statement made by Texas Congressman Dick Armey.

When asked,

"If you had been in President Clinton's place would you have resigned?"

Armey replied:

"If I had been in the president's place I would not have gotten the chance to resign. I would have been lying in a pool of my own blood, looking up, and listening to my wife ask, 'How do you reload this son of a bitch'?"

Heh.

Bush's Big Blunder

Opinion Journal.com notes today George Bush's ability to repeal the unbelievably dumb steel tariffs his administration imposed in March 2002 in an apparent attempt to kill the economy.

Tariffs are always a bad idea, increasing prices to consumers while sheltering uncompetitive businesses. Steel tariffs are especially harmful, because steel is a widespread raw material. It becomes more expensive to build buildings, so housing prices go up. It becomes more expensive to build cars, trucks and railroad tracks, so the price of transportation goes up. And since food is largely, you know, transported, food prices go up.

So thanks to steel tariffs, struggling single mom on a budget finds it harder to pay rent and buy oranges for Junior. The liberal response is to "tax the wealthy" and make the government subsidize single mom, too. How about just taking the government out of the subsidization business and stop "helping," OK?

Phenomenal cartoon...

I don't know if you guys are aware of Cox and Forkum, a couple of Objectivist (Ayn Rand devotees) cartoonists, who have some of the best political cartooning going. This one's particularly good.

This guy's just great.

I think I'm turning into a James Lileks groupie. Today's Bleat is chock-full of juicy Lilek-ness. Some choice excerpts:

Re: Folk music

I hate that stuff. My dad had a Kingston Trio record, and even at the tender age of 7 I could tell this stuff was for dweebs. The sound probably hung in your clothes like cigarette smoke; you’d pass bullies, they’d twitch their nose, hiss “Tom Dooley!” and beat you up. It’s so frickin’ earnest, that’s what kills me. And so lyrically inane: “If I had a hammer.” Well, what’s stopping you? Go to the hardware store; they’re about a buck-ninety, tops.

Re: The new gay bishop, Rev. Gene Robinson

This story has irritated me from the start, and it has nothing to do with Rev. Robinson’s sexual orientation. The guy left his wife and kids to go do the hokey-pokey with someone else: that’s what it’s all about, at least for me. Marriages founder for a variety of reasons, and ofttimes they’re valid reasons, sad and inescapable. But “I want to have sex with other people” is not a valid reason for depriving two little girls of a daddy who lives with them, gets up at night when they're sick, kisses them in the morning when they wake. There's a word for people who leave their children because they don't want to have sex with Mommy anymore: selfish. I'm not a praying man, but I cannot possibly imagine asking God if that would be okay.

. . .

Who are you to judge? is the standard response, and I quote Captain James T. Kirk when asked the same question by Kodos the Executioner: who do I have to be? I’ll tell you this: my nightmare is losing my daughter. The idea of leaving her on purpose is inconceivable, and I don’t care if Adriana Lima drove up the driveway in a '57 BelAir convertible, tossed me the keys and asked me to drive her to Rio, it ain’t gonna happen. I made a promise when I married my wife, and I made another when we had our daughter. It's made me rather cranky on the subject of men who don't stick around.

. . .

If he’d cast off his family to cavort with a woman from the choir, I’m not sure he’d be elevated to the level of moral avatar – but by some peculiar twist the fact that he left mom for a man insulates him from criticism. It’s as if he had to do it. To stay in the marriage would have been (crack of thunder, horses neighing) living a lie, and nowadays we’re told that’s the worst thing anyone can do. Better to bedevil other lives with the truth than inconvenience your own with a lie. Right? If others are harmed in the short run, eventually they will be happy because you’re happier. Right?

Read the Bleat daily. You'll thank yourself.

The rest of his site, which is extensive, is perhaps the world's finest internet time-suck in existence. Explore the site and you'll find yourself unable to do work, partially because you can't stop clicking and partially because you're laughing too hard.

And unlike Dave Barry (whom I also like) he doesn't think everything's a good name for a rock band.

Spelling

Peter:
Hypocrisy is spelled with an "i" after the "r," not an "a." My pedantic character is now amply demonstrated..

Lips?

Susan: Wherefrom cometh your citation to the movie "Lips?" We have been married for 35 years, and I have never heard reference to that movie from your "lips" or anyone else's.

Okay - I surrender - Look Ma, I'm blogging

Re: Peter's prescient essay citing Tom Friedman... all that I can say about Friedman is that even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Friedman occasionally stumbles into the truth, but he usually does his best to extricate himself from it.
As to movies: I have watched the "Colors" trilogy by the director, Kristof Kislowski (sp?), and it blew me away. I am embarassed to admit it, because it sounds so film studentish, but they are superb.
There, David, I've done it - I've blogged for the huddled masses. Does anyone read this other than the closed circuit of people who write here?

David pokes his head out of his office and sees his shadow...

Well, I've been blog-silent for quite a long time, having been trapped under not one, not two, but (count 'em) three deals. And not little ones, either. Unfortunately, I can't tell you anything about them yet. But if and when they hit the papers, I'll let you know, so you people won't think I was neglecting you for no good reason.

Anyway, Peter having thrown down the gauntlet, here are my top movies of all time:

1. A Little Romance. I know what you're all thinking. "What the hell is A Little Romance?" (Since I'm certain you think in italics.) It's a fantastic movie, a sleeper hit (Oscar winner for best score) from 1978. It stars Sir Laurence Olivier, who gnaws on the scenery in a French accent, Diane Lane, all of 13 or so in her film debut, and a French kid with the unfortunate name of Thelonious Bernard, who went on never to be heard of again. Rent it. Trust me.

2. The Godfather. I love this movie. Love it. My wife knows not to bother me when this movie is on. If my viewing is interrupted, I tend to remain stuck in the film, walking my dog while watching out for Solozzo's button men and working out how to simultaneously eliminate the heads of the other families, along with Moe Green and Fabrizio, who blew up my wife and lovely car. (You don't get to see the assassination of Fabrizio in the movie, but if you read the book it's there, and it's one of the "extra scenes" in the DVD collection, which includes Part II (see below) and the excrable Part III.)

3. Charade. It is a truism that all Audrey Hepburn movies are terrific. It is a truism that all Cary Grant movies are at least very very good. Accordingly, a movie with both Audrey Hepburn (sigh.) and Cary Grant must therefore be near-perfect. Add Walter Matthau, James Coburn and George "Cool Hand Luke" Kennedy, stir briskly. Then combine talents from guys who are into musicals, of all things: Hitchcock-like scripting from Peter Stone, who also wrote 1776 and Hitchcock-like directing from Stanley Donen who also directed Singing In The Rain. It just works.

4. Casablanca. One of those magical movies where everything just comes together brilliantly.

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark. I'm seriously wondering about you, Peter, that there's even a question in your mind as to whether it should be included.

6. Dude, Where's My Car? Yeah, right. Just checking to see if you're paying attention.

6. (Really.) The Sting. I'm a con game freak. I can throw the three card monte. I collect cheater dice. Like this movie wasn't making my top 10.

7. Operation Petticoat. One of the funniest movies ever made. And it has the Cary Grant bonus multiplier.

8. The Godfather, Part II. This might rank higher, I'm just too lazy to go back and renumber everything. The Robert DeNiro scenes are better than the Al Pacino scenes.

9. Citizen Kane. OK, I have a confession to make. I've never actually seen Citizen Kane. But I kinda get the feeling that, by law, you have to put it on any top-10 movie list. So here it is. Rosebud was his sled. Now you don't have to see it either.

10. Star Wars. Sue me.

OK, that's the first 10. I'll think about it more and add some more later, probably, unless I get hit with another 15 tons of paper...